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 The Meatology Mojito

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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:09 pm

I have deigned to show you the Meatology approved way of making a Mojito. Sure, some douchebags probably drink them because Ernest Hemingway preferred them but if you're going to copy his lifestyle just skip to his last trend.

Anyway, on to Mojito-Makin'!

Step 1: Get your cheap ass down to the store and buy these ingredients

750ml Light Rum
2 liter Club Soda
1 liter lime juice
1 lime
1 orange
Sugar in some form or another (I use cubes)
Fresh mint leaves (at least 1 pack of 4 sprigs)
Little umbrellas

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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:09 pm

Step 2: Mix 6-8 mint leaves, two tablespoons of lime juice, and one tablespoon of sugar in a highball glass. I don't have a highball glass so this Newcastle pint glass I stole from a bar will have to do.

Pound that stuff with something other than your schlong. I use a bar knife with a flat, jagged end.



Last edited by Meaty Portion on Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:10 pm

Step 3: Add 4-5 tablespoons of light rum to taste. I have a slipped disk so I just pour it in.

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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:10 pm

Step 4: Don't be a miser with the ice. It's what the mint leaves will sit around and as you get drunk you can pretend they're fighting each other.

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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:10 pm

Step 5: Add the club soda, you sissy mary. Pretty much just fill the rest of the glass with it.

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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:11 pm

Step 6: Mix it with a stirrer of your choice. I chose a blue pineapple spear-thingy.

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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:11 pm

Step 7: Add a slice of lime and/or orange. Just cut a couple small slices (get an adult to help you) and slip them on the edge.

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me_metoo
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:11 pm

Holy Shit. I think Im in love. Shocked
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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:11 pm

Step 8: Add the umbrella straw, monkey, and topless mermaid to have someone to talk to in your drunken revelry.

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Meaty Portion
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:12 pm

Step 9: Serve that sombish!!

I usually serve mine with some half-assed mezedes. Spanish chorizo, Italian hard salami, celery sticks, tomatos, pita bread, olives, jar of cool whip - whatever strikes your fancy.

Enjoy the Mojito and happy drunkening!

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Depthcharge
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:12 pm

awesome. I sometimes will cut the lime instead of being all artsy like and throw it in the drink.

Good stuff
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KnockoutsGalore
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:45 pm

I went to TGIFridays tonight, and in all the years I was a bartender, I never though of adding strawberry to a mojito.... but that shit was deeeeeelicious....
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Civilservant
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:41 pm

mmmm.
I went to Habana on 6th the other day and thought I would get an awesome mojito, but it blew. went to PF Changs a few days later and that guy made the best fucking mojito EVA - go figure.
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KnockoutsGalore
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PostSubject: Re: The Meatology Mojito   Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:33 am

For anyone that watches Family Guy, Brian was drinking a Mojito and said that it WASN'T a gay drink.... so there you go.. proof...
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